The Adventures of Bargio
by sao21
Summary: Companion to Prentiss and Isles by Magrat70. A look into the, perhaps unlikely, friendship of Bass and Sergio.
1. Chapter 1

Companion piece to Prentiss and Isles by Magrat70

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The Adventures of Bargio

Chapter 1 - Sergio

If you had asked me last year if I would ever be in this situation, I would have thought you were crazy. No one could have predicted that I, Sergio Felinus Prentiss, would be sitting with a friend watching our people giggle like school girls. No one could have predicted that Emily Prentiss, the bane of criminals everywhere, would be giggling. A few years ago I would have been upset by this turn of events…we have a reputation to protect after all; however, she's happy and my priorities have changed. Maybe it was the seven months with Penelope, who while very generous with treats also had a terrible habit of putting me in sweaters, or maybe it's the fact that I now have a friend whose sole purpose is companionship and not feeding me, but no matter the reason, her happiness is more important than our street cred; it also doesn't hurt that the happier she is, the more treats I get. And Maura is pretty generous, too.

But that's neither here nor there for this origin story. You may be wondering about my friend who doesn't feed me. This is the story of how I met Bass 'Not-A-Turtle' Isles.

It all started a few months ago when I was pretty miffed that Emily had forgotten about me one night after she had promised me that that wouldn't happen anymore. Okay fine, I admit it, I was more furious than miffed, but I was not worried because I do not worry; I mean it's not like every time she doesn't come home for a night she is injured…or gone for months at a time, but again, I was angry not worried. Sergio Felinus Prentiss Esquire does not worry. However, if she had been much later, and if she hadn't forgotten to put away my food bag, than she would have gotten a scratching that she wouldn't soon forget, but I digress.

Xxxxx

Emily comes rushing in apologizing to me before lavishing me with attention for a few minutes, which is another reason, besides the sweaters, that I prefer Emily to Penelope. Being an expert in behavior, Emily always knows when to just leave me alone and give me my space, whereas Penelope tended to treat me like a lap dog whenever she was home, always petting me and picking me up. I mean, do I look like a dog? No, I don't. I'm an excellent example of feline magnificence and independence meaning that sometimes I just want to bathe by myself without all the scrutiny. Anyway, Emily feeds me and leaves for work, and in her rush, she left a window open! As you can probably guess by looking at me, I'm a wild beast and even though this place is nicer than our old apartment, I can still easily grow weary of this mundane interior, especially since Emily hasn't finished unpacking my toys. Not toys! I, Baron Sergio Felinus Prentiss, don't play with toys. I meant…training implements so I can keep my instincts and hunting skills sharp. Anyway, I seized my chance and went to explore my surroundings…after a nap of course. It's hard to get a good night's sleep when you're worried. Furious! I mean furious.

A few hours later, after waking up and making sure my claws were presentable (just because Emily came in that morning all rumpled, wearing the same clothes from the day before, doesn't mean that I'm going to go out looking like a ragamuffin), I made my escape. So I wandered around a bit, getting used to my territory when I found a great place to survey my entire domain; it also afforded me a high vantage point to see if there was any danger approaching. Sitting on the fence is where my life changed irrevocably…altered by something that any other day would be inconsequential.

The breeze shifted slightly; all of a sudden I could smell Emily, but it was very faint and mixed with some scent that was completely unfamiliar. I turned my head to see where she was, but all I saw was a rock. At least it looked like a rock, but it appeared to be moving and not by the wind; something odd was definitely going on next door; being the brave beast that I am, I decided to investigate.

As I cautiously approached the moving rock (I might be brave, but I'm not reckless after all), I confirmed that her smell was indeed coming from whatever that thing was and that it's moving wasn't a trick of light; after observing how slowly it was moving, I realized that I, Sergio Felinus Prentiss, Earl of Prentiss Manor, could outrun it if it proved to be dangerous, so I decided it was safe for me to get closer.

It was alive!

After tapping his nose, which, for future reference he does not appreciate and will not hesitate to bite me the next time it happens, he informed me that his name was Bass and that he is a Geochelone sulcata, also known as the African spurred tortoise. After telling him I was not familiar with tortoises (thanks a lot Emily), he started telling me about himself; the most important thing seems to be that he is **not** a turtle, whatever that is. Apparently it's a touchy subject for him.

When I asked why he smelled like my human, he informed me that his human, a woman named Maura, had brought her to his home to sleep on the couch last night. She was right next door all night! I worried myself silly when she was a few hundred yards away. I may have to rethink not scratching her when she gets home. But until she arrives, I may as well go with him and check out this 'heat lamp' that he was telling me about. If it was half as good as Bass made it sound, I may have to figure out a way to get Emily to get me one; although, one in each room may be more convenient.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Bass

As Sergio and I got to know each other, we realized that we have a lot in common. Both of our humans tend to work a lot, and it's not uncommon for them to smell of death. We both love to eat. And one of our favorite pastimes is falling asleep in the sun…or under my heat lamp as the case may be. It turns out that his human is really smart too and he actually listens to her, so we can have some pretty deep conversations; I once tried to discuss an Oxford study about ducks liking water with Jo Friday, but all she wanted to know was where the ducks were so she could chase them. Now don't get me wrong, I like Jo Friday, but we have almost nothing to talk about that we're both passionate about besides our love for our humans and sleeping. Although, Jo does like playing with me in my pool more than Sergio does.

I love when Sergio comes to visit; it can be pretty lonely with Maura gone all day. It's nice to have someone to eat next to. One day, Serg even knocked some prickly pear pads off the counter when I mentioned I was hungry. What a great pal! And napping with him is amazing. He's great at sleeping, and when he curls next to me, he is really warm; it's like he's a fuzzy blanket or pillow depending on where he falls asleep.

I had never had anyone to play with before. Sergio really likes to ride around on my shell; he says he likes the texture. I heard Frankie refer to it as a 'piggy back' ride, although I'm not really sure what a 'piggy' is. But no matter what it is, it is really nice to have someone willing to go wherever I go and at the pace that I go; Jo tends to get a bit impatient when she has to wait for me. And Sergio can be very talkative; he once went on a twenty minute rant about how he already has a fur coat, he does not need a sweater, let alone a sweater with little mice on it. He also finds hats humiliating. But he can be very complex. He once told me that before they moved here, JJ and Henry, two of Emily's friends, would visit him frequently and that Henry had a tendency to pull his tail, but that he didn't mind since Henry was little and cute and never meant to hurt him but just forgot that he wasn't supposed to do it. Knowing that he wasn't above scratching Emily when she upsets him, or at least threatening to scratch her since I'm not sure how often he actually follows up on the threat, his gentleness towards Henry surprised me.

It hasn't all been good times. For some reason, Angela took a long time to warm up to Sergio; for weeks, she would try to catch him any time he came to visit. It really put a hamper on our relationship. She particularly hated it when he would wait for her to open the door to get the paper to run in; she didn't seem to mind him coming in through the window as much, but I think that might be because she didn't always realize that he was inside right away. He even tried to befriend her by bringing her a gift of a mouse, but for some reason she just started screaming. Sometimes I just don't understand humans; after all, it was dead so it wasn't like it was going to bite her or anything. His next attempt with a vole had the same result, even with her yelling about mice; he decided that that was the last time he would deign her with his catch, especially since she didn't even realize that it was a vole, which, according to Serg, are harder to catch. Luckily, she finally started accepting that he was going to be around, with or without Emily. I actually think one of her main issues with Serg was Emily, which is ridiculous because she's amazing, makes Maura happy, and she brings me treats.

The first time that Jo Friday met Sergio was another disaster. It resulted in Jo chasing Sergio all over the house, which did nothing to endear him to Angela, and only ended when Sergio was cornered on a bookshelf; it took a swipe to her nose and a stern talking to from me before she finally let Sergio off the shelf. It wasn't until Jo sat listening to us discussing the differences between turtles and tortoises, and later compared mice and voles, that she calmed down and really started accepting Sergio. Although, Jo does get pretty annoyed by his cocky attitude at times; Serg actually prefers Jo to call him Archduke Sergio Felinus Prentiss, which she does sometimes do to humor him. Luckily, Serg's cockiness has eased up a bit. He finally stopped elevating his rank once he reached the title of archduke; when I first met him, I wouldn't have been surprised if he invented a rank above emperor.

I never thought I would have a friend who wasn't Maura; even her old friend Jane couldn't be bothered to remember that I AM NOT A TURTLE…thank goodness that Emily considers my feelings and doesn't throw around terminologies without care. Would Jane have appreciated it if I called her an ape? No. No, she would not. I love when Emily comes over, especially since when she's over, Serg is usually over too. She makes Maura happy and she likes to give me treats; she was actually the one who had brought over the prickly pear that Serg knocked off the counter for me, and sometimes she brings me hibiscus leaves.

I'm so glad that they moved here. I can't imagine not having Sergio in my life, and Maura has never been happier. Neither Maura nor I could have asked for better friends.


	3. But I Was Comfortable

I own nothing.

Thanks to magrat70 for suggesting I write this.

Chapter 3

But I Was Comfortable

Sergio

Emily! What are you doing? Can't you see that we're having a Tortoise Sleepover? That's a sleepover with a tortoise, in case you didn't know. It's only the best kind of sleepover and you are ruining it! First, you don't even tell me about the existence of tortoises and now you are taking me from a sleepover with an actual TORTOISE! They're only like the coolest animals ever, besides yours truly that is. They have heating lamps, Emily. HEATING LAMPS! So not only are you removing me from a Tortoise Sleepover, you are removing me from the place that has a heating lamp! And Maura gave me tuna! TUNA, EMILY! So now you're making me go home where there are no tortoises, heating lamps, or tuna. Why don't you just lock me outside in the rain in a cage of dogs? That would be about an equal level of cruelness on your part.

Why don't you want me to make friends? I don't mind you making friends. Are you threatened? That's it, isn't it? I understand how scary it must be for you to have to share me, Sergio Felinus Prentiss, Duke of Prentiss Hall, but don't worry, just because I make another friend doesn't mean I'll forget about you. I'll still make time for you too. After all, you do feed me; that won't be forgotten. And I don't think that Bass could clean my litter box; you humans do have those nice opposable thumbs that allow you to serve me so nicely after all. So, see? You have nothing to worry about.

Oh, come on, Emily! Why can't I stay with Bass? Ugh! Fine. Leave me home all alone. You just best hope that all of your clothes are the way you left them when you get home. If some happen to have been clawed, then it's your own fault.

Okay, think Serg, think. She left a window open before, maybe she did it again. Drat! They're all closed. And as amazing as I am, I don't think I can claw through glass. Blast! Why can't I have claws like that Wolverine guy in those movies Emily like so much? I'm sure he could claw through glass or the doors or something. Drat my regular cat claws!

Oh I hate waiting! Why can't Emily be home yet? Wait, I think I hear her. Yes! Come on. Open the door. Hurry up, Emily! YES! GO GO GO!

Okay, I'm out. Now, how do I get in to see Bass and his lamp? There has to be a way. Yes! There's Maura! No Emily! I need to get inside! What part of HEATING LAMP do you not understand? Come on Maura, open the door already! I can only avoid Emily for so long; she has longer arms and legs than I do, the better to serve me with, but right now she is not serving me. Why aren't you serving me? You should be carrying me over there, not trying to get me back into the tortoiseless house.

Finally! The door is open! Come on legs, don't fail me now! I'M IN!

Bass! BASS! Don't move! Watch this jump!

* * *

><p>Bass<p>

I can't believe I miss that ridiculous cat already, but it's so quiet here during the day. Don't get me wrong, I like the quiet; it makes napping much easier, but I can only sleep for so long. And since Sergio likes naps as much as I do, he would be a good friend to have around during the day when I'm home alone. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to steal my lamp if I'm not careful.

Well, I guess it could be worse. Without Sergio around, I can catch up on my sleep from last night. I've never met anyone who was so interested in tortoises before…or who listened so intently about what separates us from turtles; granted, I don't meet a lot of people, but it was still a refreshing change of pace. It is nice that someone takes an interest in me besides Maura; I wonder what it is about the Prentiss's that make them so interested. Emily did call me magnificent and gorgeous. Most of Maura's friends tend to ignore me; although, I prefer that to them always calling me a turtle. I hope she has the Prentiss family over more often; it would only be fair that I have a friend seeing as she has so many.

Sounds like Maura's home. Excellent. I was getting a little hungry.

What is that commotion? Oh. Hey, Sergio. What are you doing?

Sergio! No! DON'T JUMP ON ME!

I take it back; I don't miss this cat.


	4. Meet Jo Friday

Thanks to Magrat70 for suggesting I write this.

I own nothing.

Chapter 4

Meet Jo Friday

Sergio

Drat that stupid heat lamp. How dare it lull me into a false sense of security! It will rue the day it decided to cross Sergio Felinus Prentiss, Duke of Prentiss Hall. Oh who am I kidding? I can't stay mad at you, Lamp; you're clearly the best invention known to man, cat, or tortoise…but please try not to do it again or I will have to stop trying to convince Emily to get one of your brethren for Prentiss Hall.

You, on the other hand, are a different story, Dreadful Fiend! How dare you chase me?! Don't you know who I am? I am Archduke Sergio Felinus Prentiss, the perfect man and faithful feline companion to Detective Emily Elizabeth Prentiss, former secret (and not so secret) agent, and daughter to Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss. You should step back or I will unleash her on you as soon as she gets here; you'll be lucky if, by the time she's done with you, you can even see some of the great outdoors from your cell. That's right; soon you'll feel her wrath…not that I need her to fight my battles for me. It's just that I like making her feel useful sometimes; it must be hard being around someone as glorious as I am on a daily basis and only be human. But, seeing as she's not here to feel useful, I will handle you myself if you want.

I will show you that I don't need my person to fight my battles for me. All I need her to do is buy me food, and clean my litter box, and I do really like it when she scratches under my chin, and…oh I see what you're trying to do! Trying to distract me so you can…corner me on the bookcase. DANG IT! But fear not, for I can still defeat you from here if necessary.

Back! Back I say! That's it; I warned you. The claws are coming out. Meet paws one and two, otherwise known as Peril and Torment. I hope you're happy, Dog. You are about to meet your doom. YOUR DOOM! This will teach you to never challenge the ARCHDUKE SERGIO FELINUS PRENTISS ever again! BWAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

><p>Bass<p>

Is one uninterrupted nap too much to ask for? It's bad enough that Angela can't just leave Serg alone when he's here; I don't go around making her friends leave, but Heaven forbid I have a friend over. It's not like he's causing trouble; he just likes sleeping on my shell, don't ask me why. But she just can't let him sleep. No, she always has to pick him up, or at least try to, and make him go home. It makes me wonder if she would be behaving like this if Jane was still around; they used to leave me to my own devices, but I never had a friend before so who knows how they would have acted.

But no, dealing with den mother Angela isn't enough. Now I have to deal with this interruption. Jo Friday should know the rules by now. If I'm napping when she gets here, she has to let me sleep for at least thirty minutes (or if it's a really short visit, about five minutes before she leaves) before she wakes me up. But you know what wakes me up? Her causing a racket and deciding that Sergio needs to be tackled off of my shell. That wakes me up! And her chasing him all over the house does not help me get back to sleep.

Clearly, I need to put an end to this.

Why did he run to the bookcase? He should have realized that he would be cornered there. Great. Now he's an archduke. At this rate, he'll get to emperor by the end of the month. Then what will he do? And why does he need to name his paws? Ugh, at least he hasn't knighted them…yet. Sometimes it's hard to believe that this is the same cat who can discuss just how much force is needed to make a leap from the couch to the mantle and the scientific reason that he, and other cats, can almost always land on their feet (answer: no collarbone and very flexible backbone). Sergio, stop laughing like a maniac before someone has you committed or checked for rabies or something.

UGH! I'm surrounded by children. Oh I wish Emily and Maura were here; they would have put an end to this immediately. Actually, where are the humans? Someone should have stopped this by now. Oh. Angela will never warm up to Sergio if he keeps knocking over vases and books; we'll have to make that up to her somehow. Maybe he can bring her a flower from the garden or something as a peace offering.

Jo Friday! Leave him alone. He was not attacking me; he was just napping on my shell. Contrary to your beliefs, cats are NOT a blight on all existence. Sergio! Don't scratch her! And stop baiting her. Jo, he's just being snarky; he doesn't really believe that your breath is the cause of global warming. BOTH OF YOU STOP IT! This is valuable time we could be sleeping. Both of you apologize. Don't give me that look. Sergio, you are apologizing for insulting her and hitting her. And you, Jo Friday, are apologizing for waking him up in such a violent manner and chasing him.

Now that that's settled, we are going to be friends. We will all _calmly_ walk (absolutely no more running in the house today, I'm not as young as you two are) back to the lamp where we will all lie down and finish the nap that was so rudely interrupted. Sergio, you will reclaim your place on my shell, and Jo, you will be my pillow. Is that clear to everyone? Good. Let's go. Maybe if we're lucky and can all be calm and quiet, by the time Angela has finished cleaning up the mess that you two made, she won't notice that Serg is still here and I can finally get my uninterrupted nap.


	5. The Return of Peril and Torment

Thanks to Magrat70 for suggesting I write this.

I own nothing.

A/N: There's a lot of small time jumps in this chapter, so I apologize if it's kind of hard to follow. The first part of each character is on Wednesday, immediately following Ch 3 – But I Was Comfortable, while the rest of it takes place over the weekend.

_**Previously on The Adventures of Bargio**_

**Sergio**- Bass! BASS! Don't move! Watch this jump!

**Bass**- Sergio! No! DON'T JUMP ON ME! I take it back; I don't miss this cat.

Chapter 5

The Return of Peril and Torment

Sergio

Wait! What?!

You think I'm trying to mount him? I barely know him. I mean, no offence Bass, you're very attractive, but I don't know you nearly well enough to take that step in our relationship. I, unlike you humans, am capable of controlling my baser animal instincts; I like to build to a stable, loving relationship before I, as you so crudely put it, 'mount' someone.

Xxxxx

Wow, Emily! Where are we going? It can't be the vet since you don't wear dresses when we visit her. It has to be someplace fancy for you to be escorting Archduke Sergio Felinus Prentiss, for why else would you be so dressed up? Next door? Are you sure that's wise? They're going to be so jealous after seeing how you look to escort the Archduke; if only they could be lucky enough to be seen with me in public.

Wow Maura. You look great, too. Are you also going to escort me wherever it is I'm going?

Hi Bass! Look how snazzy Emily looks. I just realized, if you carry me around, I can travel in a manner fitting my Archduke status.

Wait! Where are you guys going? Aren't you forgetting someone, meaning me, the Archduke? Fine, go out without me; like they could have a good time without yours truly. I wonder why they were so dressed up. Oh well. Come Bass. Take me to the heat lamp; there's no reason for us not to be napping.

Xxxxx

Come on, Dr. Reid, tell me about tortoises. Yes! Tortoise facts! If you fed me more, you could be a decent companion Dr. Reid; you're not as good as Emily, but if you play your cards right, you may be as good as JJ, way better than Penelope; I can't imagine you dressing me up in ridiculous outfits. If only Bass could feed me…anyway, I digress, tell me more tortoise facts.

Tortoise facts! Tortoise facts! Tortoise facts! Tortoise facts! Tortoise facts!

Xxxxx

Emily? What's wrong? Is this because of Jo Friday? Bass already made me apologize, so you don't have to cry! But wait…you haven't mentioned Jo or anything about me being bad, so it's not about Jo; good, I knew I wasn't out of line for that. But what's wrong? Who do I have to disembowel for upsetting you so?

You're scaring me Emily; you're acting strange, not as strange as right before you went away and Penelope was trying to convince me that you were dead, but still strange. You can't go away like that again Emily; if it wasn't for JJ telling me that you were going to come back, I don't know what I would have done. So tell me who needs to get their organs scratched out to make you feel better and I will do it posthaste. Please stop crying. I'm here; it'll be all right.

It's all right, Emily. I'm here. Just sleep, everything will be better tomorrow. Just please don't go away again.

Xxxxx

Angela! Are you the one who upset my person? Emily, put me down! Put me down immediately! Dang it Emily! How am I supposed to avenge you if you don't put me down? Fine! Fine! I won't scratch the daylights out of her. I'll just burn her to death with my eyes.

How are you not melting under my glare? What kind of sorcery is this? Emily, you have to put me down if she's not going to melt!

Wait! What does Maura have to do with anything? Angela, explain yourself! So all the humans from next door are responsible for Emily's sadness.

Emily, quick put me down before it's too late!

Great. Now she's gone and I didn't avenge you.

Emily, please don't cry. Look on the positive side, now, instead of spending time next door, you can spend it with me. Once that good news sinks in I know you'll stop crying.

Xxxxx

Maura, how dare you upset Emily?! And then you have the gumption of coming here? I'd like you to meet Peril and Torment! Take that! Bwahahaha!

Emily! What are you doing? I'm defending your honor! Put me down! PUT ME DOWN!

* * *

><p>Bass<p>

Dang it Sergio! I'm not a trampoline! Next time you can demonstrate your jumping skills by leaping onto the mantel or something that isn't me.

You think he's mounting me?! What kind of animal do you think I am to do that right in front of you? You should know by now that I think some things should be kept to the privacy of one's bedroom. Besides, I've only known him for less than a week; I like to take my time in relationships.

Xxxxx

Sergio, they're not taking you anywhere. They're going on a date. Why would you think you were going with them? No, Sergio. They didn't just leave you here because you would draw too much attention. You know what? On second thought, yes Sergio; that is exactly why they went without you.

Xxxxx

Maura, what happened? Did she do something to you? Do I need to bite her? No? Okay, but Maura, I hate seeing you so upset. You need to fix it. I know that you haven't known her for long, but she seems to make you happy, and you deserve to be happy.

It'll be all right Maura. I know that you'll make it up to her. Even though you only met her this week, I think that you two will be good together, and no, it isn't just because she calls me a tortoise unlike your old crush who shall remain nameless or that her cat is a great nap partner. She's smart and kind and she makes you laugh and smile. Just…don't worry about what others will think about you, just do what will make you happy. You really deserve to be happy.


End file.
